Geopolitics, GPT's Grapevine, and German Governance

This week, Trump finally acted as he appears: like a dodgy car salesman. In a desperate bid to assist his friend Elon with Tesla’s recent stock market decline, he transformed the White House into a makeshift dealership. While this crossover episode is undoubtedly entertaining, we shall not devote much airtime to these antics in this week’s newsletter.

However, what I wish to discuss is not merely sunshine and rainbows. As Bob Dylan once crooned, “There must be some kind of way out of here,” and boy, do we need one! Because AI is now expected to take over creative writing—an idea that I detest, as you might suspect. And then there are those German Social Democrats, who 😡😡😡…. hang on, we shall get to that later. First and foremost, let’s examine something to lift our spirits:

All Along the Watchtower: Who Guards Europe’s Borders?

Last week, the impossible happened: a European politician made a statement that was both true and uplifting concerning the current geopolitical crisis we are facing due to Donald Trump's behaviour resembling that of a Russian agent. Let us begin by examining the remarks made by Polish Prime Minister Donald Tusk:

This paradox highlights Europe’s failure to recognise its own strength. The numbers alone are staggering: Europe’s population is nearly five times larger than Russia's. Yet, Tusk is correct in calling out Europe for its cowardice. We possess all the tools to defend ourselves—economic power, (some) military resources, and strategic alliances—but we lack the will to act. Instead, we delegate our security to Washington while fretting about American unpredictability. Trump’s disdain for NATO uncovered just how fragile our reliance on U.S. protection truly is.

And yet, paradoxically, this reliance on America makes us feel safer—or at least it allows us to pretend we are safe while dodging difficult questions about our inadequacies. The illusion is comforting: let the Americans manage Russia while we sip espresso in Paris or Munich. However, safety built on dependency is no safety at all; it’s a house of cards poised for the next gust of geopolitical wind.

Europe must awaken from its slumber and embrace its potential as a global power. We are not helpless; we are merely unwilling. The Russians are not invincible; they are laughably incompetent when confronted with determined resistance. Ukraine has demonstrated what courage looks like—standing firm against an aggressor despite overwhelming odds—and they have done so with fewer resources and more ingenuity than Europe could muster in decades. Let us stop hiding behind America and instead adopt something very American: a belief in ourselves.

I found Tusk’s statement somewhat comforting. Therefore, I wanted to visualise the metrics of what he said—although I couldn’t resist correcting him on the figures he quoted. What do you think of this?

Pride, Prejudice and Python

Alright, let’s discuss OpenAI’s latest spectacle: an AI that’s supposedly “really good” at creative writing. Sam Altman, OpenAI’s head honcho, is practically doing cartwheels on Twitter over this new model that can churn out metafictional stories about “AI and grief.” Because that’s just what the world needs right now, right? Look, I’m all for progress, but there’s something a bit amiss about machines attempting to capture the messy, beautiful chaos of human experience. It’s like asking a toaster to write a love song—sure, it might get the words right, but where’s the heartbreak, the passion, the ill-advised 2 AM texts? Imagine a future where book clubs debate whether an AI’s use of semicolons was intentional or merely a glitch in the matrix. God help us all.

But here’s the thing—as long as humans engage in foolish, wonderful, and ridiculous activities, we’ll always have stories to share. An AI might be capable of crafting a coherent narrative about grief, but can it capture the absurdity of drunk-texting your ex or the existential crisis that strikes at 2 AM whilst you’re eating cold pizza? So yes, perhaps this AI can pen a decent story. However, until it can experience a hangover, fall in love, or make a complete fool of itself at karaoke night, I believe we humans still have the edge when it comes to telling tales. In the meantime, let’s raise a glass to our flawed, fantastic human creativity.

Who sold us out? The Social Democrats, no doubt!

In their haste to form a coalition, the SPD and CDU/CSU have agreed on several proposals that infuriate me. However, today, let us focus on something somewhat concealed in their exploratory paper: they outlined a plan to revoke the German citizenship of dual nationals if they are labelled as extremists, anti-Semites, or supporters of terrorism. This creates second-class citizens. And it is written in the section titled "migration", no less. Let us be clear: people who live in Germany and hold German citizenship are Germans. Why would this be part of migration?

The SPD, a party that claims to champion equality and progress, is now considering a policy that would render citizenship conditional for certain individuals. This is discriminatory, unconstitutional(?), and utterly shameful. The move reminds me of a derogatory term used by neonazis to describe naturalised German citizens with a migration background: “passport German.” It implies that their German identity is reduced to merely holding a German passport, rather than being considered “truly” German. 

This policy reeks of cowardly political pandering to conservatives rather than of genuine concern for security. Targeting dual nationals while leaving single-nationality Germans untouched is blatant discrimination. It’s unconstitutional, immoral, and downright lazy. Citizenship isn’t a privilege to dangle over people’s heads—it’s a fundamental right. Hannah Arendt warned us that citizenship is “the right to have rights.” If someone commits a crime, they should be prosecuted. It's as simple as that. The SPD must grow a spine, ditch this nonsense, and stand up for equality. Anything less is a betrayal of everything they claim to support.

It’s been a long week for me, so today you’ll have to manage with three rants. However, perhaps that’s sufficient for now. Thank you for reading this far.